So I’ve recently come out of something that could only be described as the “it’s complicated” relationship statuses you use to see on Facebook in yesteryear.
Even though our situation wasn't black and white, and if I'm completely honest I am still coming to terms with it being over with this guy. It has really made me wonder recently what are the break-up rules? Or even if there are any so-called rules. Or even if there is a successful way to get over someone?
It is universally accepted that going through a break-up is hard and at times long-winded and at times draining (if you are anything like me anyways). It is always difficult dealing with a break-up but what I have always found harder is working out how to cope with the end of a relationship. Whilst my situation was complicated and not a tradition boyfriend/girlfriend one it still feels like I'm having to deal with it like was one.
When you break up with someone whether is it a mutual choice or they decide to end things what is and isn’t acceptable during the initial stages?
Do you choose to go through different routes to avoid them (not like I’ve ever done that or anything)? Do you purposely try to not go to the same places you use to go to with them out of sheer dread that you will run into them when you aren’t ready? Or even worst when you aren’t looking your very best. Why is it always when you are trying to avoid someone you seem to run into them? Must be the universe’s way of having a little laugh at your expense.
One way I have learned to solve this problem is by looking your very best ninety percent of the time just in case you run into them and you can show that are indeed doing fine without them (even though you know you are far from it just yet).
I guess what I am trying to say is I don’t necessarily think there are rules that make any break up easier but there are some things you can do to make the process easier.
Some of the tips that work for me are:
1. Writing about it. This way you can be open and honest about how you feel about it and indirectly dealing with it at the same time.
2. Talk to some friends who understand where you are coming from.
3. Remember it didn’t work for a reason. Whether you can see it now or it takes you a little longer to realise this.
4. Try and look at the silver lining. Because you know there is always a silver lining.
5. Look your best ninety percent of the time just in case!
If you forget everything else I’ve mentioned in this post remember those five points.
Gemma Ama x