As I stared at his perfect reflection through the display window
It was like time stood still for what felt like an eternity
I was frozen in the moment
I had a thousand thoughts running through my head,
Appearing in my head and fleeting just as quickly…
“It was never meant to happen like this!”
“Why today of all days?”
As I stood there with my brain running like a Gatwick Express train
My heart started to beat faster and faster until I could hardly hear myself think
I should have walked away then and there but I continued to stare at his perfect reflection
I mean what had it been like five years?
Five long years of wondering how he been,
The company he was keeping,
If he ever did achieve his dream of making it on the team
Thoughts of whether I ever crossed his mind every now and then
Or had I become a distant memory that had filtered so far away from his mind that he would barely even care if he pasted me on the street?
As I stared at his perfect reflection I saw a woman walking up to him and he stared back at her with those loving eyes that he use to look at me with
The pain was too much too bare yet I continued to stare…
It was like I was 21 again and he was my drug all over again
His presence was like that high that I needed to keep me going
It kept me in that place
Something that ran so deeply within my veins the very thought of ever being separated from him took me to another place
That place…That place…!
That mind numbing place.
That one that would shallow me so intensely
The concept of survival without it seemed like a lion being separated from its cub
Or the pitiful cries of a mother losing its child
But that was the effect he had on me
My love for him ran so deeply
It was like I was addicted to him…
Every single part of him
How had I got to this point?
Infuriated by my weakness
In a trance by my delusion
Because you see as I stood there staring at his perfect reflection
Remembering all the times we had shared
I just wanted him to love me again
Where was I meant to go from here?
How could I go on from here?
I needed him to love me again
Just like I had planned…