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9.12.16

How Soon is Too Soon?



Let's paint a picture. You have recently started seeing someone and things are going really well but the time is approaching when it can get a little awkward.
The awkward time where most people start dreading because the time is approaching for ‘the talk’. 
Most likely the girl will be the one to bring up the conversation but in the generation of situationships who can blame us? 

I have a friend who has been seeing a guy for about three-month and in the last few weeks, she has been wondering when she should have this conversation with him. Her current limbo is making me wonder how soon is too soon to ask someone where you stand with them?
One week? One month? Three months? 

Whilst I think one week is way too soon be having that conversation. I do feel around the three-month mark is the ideal time to have this conversation because both parties are pretty clear how they feel about one another so can have this talk without things getting too awkward. 

I don’t know why but the phrase "We need to talk" seems to bring out this odd look on their face that is actually quite funny. It is like a mixture of sheer panic and confusion. Well, this is based on the guys I’ve seen in the past. 

Asking guys “what are we?” can be a bit of minefield and a conversation I often dislike having myself (I often avoid it for as long as humanly possible before I remember need to be an adult and find out where I stand). 

It actually reminds me of a time I was seeing this guy and in my attempt to not be that girl that is rushing him into a relationship I was being very chilled about us until I thought this is getting a bit silly. We then had a break before we started talking again briefly. He said something very interesting during brief attempt number two that I now make sure I do when I am talking a new person. Making it blatantly clear what you want from the other person (even though I thought I had made it perfectly clear but then again that is just my opinion). 

As soon it is clear what that person wants and if I feel like they don’t want that then I’m walking away. The world of dating nowadays is very confusing and as a hopeless romantic I have to remember to not let my imagination run wild and just go with it until a certain point. I think I’m doing quite well so far. Well, at least I hope so! I’ll keep you updated on that. 

Love, 
Gemma Ama x 

2 comments:

  1. Honestly, I love this conversation. I feel as though people need to start embracing the truth of where they want to go from early on. For me 3 months is too long to ask "what are we", and if I am being honest with myself I don't want those words to fall out of my mouth ever again in life. Right now I'm in the most fulfilling relationship I've had and it's that way because we are blunt with each other in every situation. I'm enjoying being grown

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  2. I am so glad you understand where I'm coming from and you are right I feel like you have to ask the person "What are we?" then you already have your answer. If someone really likes you then they wouldn't want you get away from them. That actually warms my heart (soppy moment lol). I'm very happy that you guys being honest has helped your relationship be as fulfilling as you both need it to be. We aren't getting any younger so playing games isn't an additional problem we need.

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